THE Konoha Idol
by Shinka-chan
Summary: The three Saninn are going to host the Konoha Idol! Random-ness, striping and shoes in the most random and odd show ever made. Rated T for language and shoe violence
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Note: I know I should finish my "The Three Legendary Copy Saninn" story, but I had this fic on the making for weeks, and I was listening for my Ipod, and plus I have to think for details for the other story **

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-"SHIZUNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

-"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

-"I realised now the solution for our problems"

-"Yes?"

-"For all problems"

-"Yes?"

-"We are going organize: THE KONOHA IDOL!"

-"Oh God…"

-"Think about it: all the ninjas…singing…"

-"Tsunade-sama…is that a sake bottle on your hand?"

-"…Maaaaaaaaaybe…but you're missing the point. I want you to say to all ninjas to show at the auditorium tomorrow, okay?"

-"*sigh* Yes, Tsunade-sama…"

Next morning, the recent auditorium was filled up with Elders and Feudal Lords from all countries, among with other ninjas. The jury, Tsunade, Jiraya and Orochimaru, stand before the stage, with their note papers and bottles of sake. Tsunade cough and start reading the list:

-"Okay, first one…Uzumaki Naruto"- the trio prepare to start laughing. Naruto show up in a lion costume, and start singing:

"_I will gonna be a mighty Hokage_

_So in a missed beware"_

Then he stopped

-"I said: so in a missed beware"

-"I am not doing this"- said a voice from the curtain

-"Oh c´mon"- Naruto did the puppy eyes. Sasuke came out of the curtain pushed for the stage for God-knows-who, wearing a bird costume

Ahhh

"_Well I never see a king with quite so little hair"_

"_I´m gonna be the main event,_

_like no Hokage__ was before._

_I´m bursting up, i´m looking down,_

_I´m looking on my ROAAAAAAAAAR"_

-"Please…Please stop!"- Tsunade had tears in her eyes, and Oro and Jiraya were laughing on the floor. Everyone laughed, except some Sasuke fangirls in the wall, hysterically screaming for Sas-Kay. Sasuke had already left the building.

After calmed their selves, Tsunade called the next participant:

-"Haruno Sakura"

Sakura showed up, tone her voice and began singing.

"_OH, we are lesbians, we are lesbians,_

_kissing in the rain, kissing in the rain!"_

-"GENIUOS!"-yelled Jiraya

-"BUUUUUU!"- yelled Orochimaru.

Tsunade checked her list

-"Okay, next is...Nara Shikamaru." Some one pushed Shikamaru to the stage. He just stood before them.

-"Uhm…aren't you…gonna start singing?"

-"Too troublesome"- Shikamaru almost fell asleep in the stage, but some one yelled "BAKA!" from the curtains and throw him a shoe, who from the hysteric scream, was Ino.

-"Fine Fine. Geez."- Shikamaru sighed

"_The clouds are marching along, singing a song_

_Just like they do…_

_If the clouds were singing a song, __I'd sing along_

_Wouldn't__ you too…ZZZZZZZZZZZZ"_- Shikamaru was now sleeping

-"NEXT!"- someone dragged Shikamaru out of the stage. Ino appeared. She formally greeted everyone and toned her voice. Silence in the room….

…

-" _OOH AH AH AH AH!  
GET UP, COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS  
GET UP, COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS _

_GET UP, COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS _

_OPEN UP YOUR HATE, AND LET IT FLOW INTO ME _

_GET UP, COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS _

_YOU MOTHER GET UP_

_COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS _

_YOU FUCKER GET UP  
COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS _

_MAD-NESS HAS NOW COME OVER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, YAUH!" _

Ino stopped singing and gave the audience a smile. Everyone had a) run for their lives or b) wet their pants

-"Uhm…well…uhm…we'll call later. I promise"- said Jiraya, containing the urge of scream like a girl. Ino jumped happily for behind the curtains.

-"Uhm, okay, next up we got Chouji"- said Tsunade. Chouji and his bag of fries come to stage.

_-" I don't care if you're full  
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it  
Open up your mouth and feed it  
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam  
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned  
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it  
Don't you make me repeat it  
Have a banana, have a whole bunch  
It doesn't matter what you have for lunch  
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it  
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it  
(hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh)__"_

-"Well, that was good. Really good! We call later"- agreed the Saninns. Chouji jumped happily and ran tell Shikamaru.

-"Okay, next we have Tenten"

Tenten walked to stage.

-" _Oh, Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe  
Watch me Crank It  
Watch me Roll  
Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy  
Then Super Man Dat Hoe  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)"_

-"Wow, I liked, I like a women with ambition, Rrrrr"- said Jiraya. Tsunade smacked him in the head.

-"Okay next, Neji"

Neji walked in crossing arms and with an annoyed face.

-"I´m not gonna do this."

-"Yes, you are. You´re good at that!"- said a voice similar at Tenten from backstage

-"Fine, geez…

_Walk out the house with my swagga  
Hop in the whip yo I got places to go  
People to see, time is precious  
I look at my Cartier, out of control  
Just like my mind where I'm going  
No women, no shorties, no nothing my clothes  
No stomping on my Perreli's on froze  
Unlike my jewelry that's always on cold  
I know the storm is coming  
My pockets keep telling me its gonna shower  
Call up my homies it's on and poppin' tonight cuz it's meant to be ours  
We keep a fade away shot cause we balling this platinum Patron every hour  
Look momma I owe you just like the flowers  
Girl you the trut__h with all that goody sour  
GO!_

You spin my head right round, right round, when ya go down when ya go down down  
You spin my head right round, right round, when ya go down when ya go down down"

Neji´s face was turning more red at every word he said. He left the stage a complete tomato, and now he had to face the girls. Oh God…

After Tsunade calmed herself and cleaned the sweat from her face, she got back to the list

-"Oh God…Lee"

Lee made the Dynamic Entrace, hurting seven kids.

-"_Oh, __Buddy youre a boy make a big noise  
Playin in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on yo face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin your can all over the place_

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you

Buddy youre a young man hard man  
Shoutin in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on yo face  
You big disgrace  
Wavin your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you"

Lee made the "water thingy", and got away

-"Oooooooookay…next is Kiba"

Kiba appeard in stage

-"Oh, I´m a little dogie,

cute and pink.

Here is my tail and

Here is my ink"

-"That doesn't make any sense"

-"I know"

A deadly silence invaded the room. Kiba got out of the stage. Tsunade sighed

-"Shino"  
Shino apeard and stood in the middle of the stage.

And stood

And stood

And stood

And stood.

Then he got out of the stage

-"Uhm…Hinata"

Hinata got for the stage and toned her voice.

-" _If youre alone and you need a friend  
Someone to make you forget your problems  
Just come along baby take my hand  
I need a lover tonight_

Ohohoh ohohoh-this is what I want to do  
Ohohoh ohohoh-lets have some fun  
Ohohoh ohohoh-one on one just me and you  
Ohohoh ohohoh

Boom boom boom boom  
I want you in my room  
Lets spend the night together  
From now until forever  
Boom boom boom boom  
I wanna go boom boom  
Lets spend the night together  
Together in my room"

She left the stage with a cofindent smile.

-"Okay, next…Gaara"

Gaara come to the stage.

-" _I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think it's special what's behind your back  
So turn around and i'll pick up the slack.  
Take em' to the bridge_

Dirty babe  
You see these shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take em' to the chorus

Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're working with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it"

Thru the music, Gaara start strip teasing, for fortune of the fan girls.

After Tsunade and Orochimaru calmed themselves, Tsunade check her list

-"Okay, next is Kankuro"

Kankuro got to the stage

-"Oh i´m a little kitty

Cute and black

Here is my tail

And here is my back"  
Kankuro ran off the stage before Tsunade killed him.

-"Okay, next is Temari"

Temari walked to the stage

_-"__Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession  
Love me or hate me, that is the question  
If you love me then, thank you!  
If you hate me then, fuck you!_

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession  
Love me or hate me, that is the question  
If you love me then, thank you!  
If you hate me then, fuck you!

I'm fat, I need to diet  
No, in fact, I'm just too light  
And I ain't got the biggest breastesses  
But I write all the best disses  
(Chuh-ching!)

I got hairy armpits  
But I don't walk around like this  
I wear a big baggy t-shirt  
That hides that nasty shit

Ew, I never had my nails done  
Bite them down until they're numb  
I'm the one with the non-existent bum  
Now I don't really give uh!

I'm missin' my shepherd's pie  
Like a high maintenance chick missin' her diamonds  
I'm missin' my Clippers lighters  
Now bow down to your royal highness

No, I don't own a Corgi  
Had a hamster, it died 'cause I ignored it  
Go on then, go on report me!  
I'm English, try and deport me!

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession  
Love me or hate me, that is the question  
If you love me then, thank you!  
If you hate me then, fuck you!

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession  
Love me or hate me, that is the question  
If you love me then, thank you!  
_If you hate me then, fuck you!"_

The few people who had staied in the building after Ino´s scary performance ran after Temari´s performance.

After Temari left the stage, Tsunade got to the stage and grabbed the micro

-"Don't worry, ladies and Gentlemen, we will turn right now after this short little break (and where is that Gaara of mine?)"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Don't forget, every time you review a story, George Bush losses a brain cell.**

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-"Welcome back to "Konoha idol", the greatest (and only) show of Konoha. We already saw the genin/ chunnin, no were gonna see the Jounin. Now, Hatake Kakashi"

-"He isn't here"- said random guy #1

-"God-dammit I hate that man! Well, next up, Guy. Oh God"

The lights got out and Guy made his Dynamic entrance, injuring 286 kids.

-"Oh, I´m not wearing youthful underwear, today…"

-"NEXT!"- said everyone in the building. Guy leaved the stage and ran to Anko´s shoulder. Asuma entered the stage

-"_Oh, I´m a little cigarette, _

_Brown and white_

_Here is my nicotine _

_Here is my light"_

Asuma went flying thru the roof.

-"If anyone sing that song again, ill kill him. Next is Kurenai"

The brown haired entered the stage

-"_Oh, I´m a little genjutso_

_Clear and simple_

_Here is my tongue_

_And here is my nipple"_

Kurenai broke six ribs and all members, but is now fully recovered

"Next is Iruka"

The Chunnin entered the stage

-"_Hes a manga, manga, manga maniac  
He loves them all the ladies in the paperback  
Some pretty girls are dancing on the cover  
In white and black  
Cause hes a manga, manga maniac"_

-"MARRY ME!"- yelled Jiraya. Tsunade sighed and pulled Ero-Sennin back to the chair.

-"Next…Kakas.."

-"He isn't here yet"- random guy #2

-"Fine. Pein"

The akatsuki leader walked to the stage with a guitar and a small bench.

-"_Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now_

Hey, if you know the words, sing along

You're gonna have to mow the lawn, do the dishes, make your bed  
You're gonna have to go to school until you're seventeen  
It's gonna seem about tree times as long as that  
You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun  
You might have to go to war when you get out of school  
Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse  
You're gonna have to deal with stress, deal with stress, deal with stress  
You're gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war

Santa Claus does not exist, and there is no Easter Bunny  
You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny

Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now

You're gonna end up smoking crack, on you're back, face the fact  
You're gonna end up hooked on smack and then you're gonna die

And then you're gonna die"

-"Next is Konan"

Konan walked in with an umbrella

-"_Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low  
According to all sources, the street's the place to go  
Cause tonight for the first time  
Just about half-past ten  
For the first time in history  
It's gonna start raining men._

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!  
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get  
Absolutely soaking wet!  
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!  
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!  
Tall, blonde, dark and lean  
Rough and tough and strong and mean.

But do not chose the ones with piercings, cause they never washes the dishes"

-"Ha Ha, really funny, Konan."

-"The smell in the kitchen is funny too, Pein"

-"You know I had a bad day…"  
-"Oh you always leave the dirty work to me, don't you?"

Pein and Konan start argueing in the middle of the stage.

2 hours after:

-"Okay, Next is Itachi"

Itachi got to the stage

-"_This is why hot…_ "

Itachi wasn't able to finish is sentence, when rabid fangirls broke the stage and tried to rape him.

7 hours and a lot of police agents and restraining orders after:

-"Next, we got Kisame"

Kisame entered the two tables, a.k.a. improved stage

-"_i'm blue da ba dee da ba die..."_

Kisame wasnt able to finish is act, because rabid fanMERMAIDS, yes, crazy half-crazy fangirl half-fish attacked Kisame and tried to rape him, I do not know with what.

6 hours and several calls to Zoo Marine later:

-"Next is Deidara"

Deidara entered the floor, a.k.a. improved stage, when we started to run from two Iwagakure cops. Happily, Sasori was passing by Konoha in his Ferrari and hided Deidara in a compartment in his stomach. Now their happily married and have 3 kids and live in a mountain in Kirigakure. And, no, I´m not on crack.

-"Next is Kakuzo"

Kakuzo entered the stage

-"We don't have the money to sing songs, so him selling this scythe"- Kakuzo showed to everyone Hidan´s scythe –"The bail starts with one dollar…"

-"KAKUZO! GIMME BACK MY FUCKING SCYTHE!"

Hidan and Kakuzo started arguing in the stage

4 hours and two lawyers later:

-"Okay, Next is Tobi"

-"Tobi is planning world domination"- said random guy #3

-"He´s always planning world domination…okay, so next is Kabuto

Kabuto entered the stage and did the "glass thingy"

-"_They see me mowin'  
My front lawn  
I know they're all thinking  
I'm so White N' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
I wanna roll with-  
The gangsters  
But so far they all think  
I'm too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Really, really white n' nerdy"_

-"YEAH! I LOVE IT! YOU´RE SO SMEXY KABUTO-KUN!"- screamed Orochimaru like the rabid fangirl he his.

-"Next is Kakashi"

Kakashi appeared in a poof of smoke. Leafs who came out of nowhere flied around him.

-"I´m a little Sharigan

Red and Black

Here is my nerve

And here is my…"

Kakashi was able to survive the beat Tsunade gave him.

-"Okay, we still have one competitor…Hanabi?"

The little Hyuuga entered the stage and toned her voice

-_" There was a time when men were kind"_

Everyone screamed like rabid fangirls. The Saninn´s jaws felt for the ground

"_When their voices were soft  
And their words inviting"_

Itachi and his fangirls stopped arguing in jail and listened

"_There was a time when love was blind  
And the world was a song  
And the song was exciting"_

Kisame and his fan-mermaids listened from their aquarium in Zoo Marine

"_There was a time  
Then it all went wrong_

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high  
And life worth living  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving  
Then I was young and unafraid  
And dreams were made and used and wasted  
There was no ransom to be paid  
No song unsung, no wine untasted"_

Hidan, Kakuzo and their lawyers stopped swearing and listened to the song

"_But the tigers come at night  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they tear your hope apart  
And they turn your dream to shame"  
_

Pein and Konan stopped fighting, and Konan delivered Pein´s wallet to him

"_He slept a with endless wonder  
He took summer by my side  
He filled my days my childhood in his stride  
But he was gone when autumn came"_

Sasuke returned from his "Emo-room" to listen the song

"_And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather"_

Tenten stopped chasing Neji and listened to the song

"_I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."_

Everyone stood up and clap Hanabi. Tsunade walked in the stage with the prize (a 200 dollars check and a L'Oreal gift basket) and delivered them to Hanabi

-"And this was "Konoha Idol" I hope you liked"- said Tsunade on the micro.


End file.
